First, when introducing a new item to your closet, consider removing an old one (or two!).  When surveying your older clothing and deciding what to keep and what to remove use the “friend” criteria as you evaluate your clothing.  Ask yourself, regarding a particular item of clothing, “does it make me look good?”  ”Does it make me feel good?”  Be a friend to yourself and answer the questions with honesty.

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A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each  morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved  perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.  
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After  many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled  sweetly when told his room was ready.  
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description  of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.  I love it,’ he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just  been presented with a new puppy.  
Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.’  
‘That doesn’t have anything to do with it,’ he replied.  
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.  
Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is  arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.  ‘It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice;  I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the  parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful  for the ones that do.  
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day  and all the happy memories I’ve stored away.. Just for this time in my life.  
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.  
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank  account of memories!  
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank.  I am still depositing.  
‘Remember the five simple rules to be happy:  
1. Free your heart from hatred.  
2. Free your mind from worries.  
3. Live simply.  
4. Give more.  
5. Expect less.  
Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

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The Internet has made this easy for you.  The fact that you are reading this blog post is evidence that you posses the right tool for this process.  So here is a step-by-step guide to help you:

1.  Use a search engine to get a list of facilities in the area.  Search with a query that looks something like this:  assisted living facilities medford, or.  Since most facilities have websites and are listed with major search engines, you will get a listing of many facilities for the area.  You will also have search results that include links to commercial sites that provide a directory of facilities for an area.  The quality of these sites vary, but the sites may include maps and even reviews of the facility.

2.  Check with the state licensing agencies to rule out facilities with a poor record of care.  Licensing and inspection of facilities is handled at the state level.  In most cases, the states also keep a record of complaints against a facility.  To locate the state agency that licences facilities in the state of concern, again visit a search engine and enter a query with the words:  assisted living licensing agency oregon or nursing home licensing agency oregon, etc.  High in your search results should be links to the state agencies website; look for a link with .gov as the domain (near the end of the link).  If you do not see a government website, go to the advanced search section of the search engine and request results from only the .gov domain.  This may take some effort, but at the least you should find the state agency that regulates Adult Living Facilities and their phone number; call them and ask them to send you the link to the websites with the information you need or just request it over the phone.

3.  Check facility websites to narrow your choices.  Websites will typically list amenities and have pictures of the facility.  There will be phone numbers so that you can call and ask questions.  Use the facility websites and the facilities themselves to help you rule out facilities based on preferences that you know are important to your parent(s).

4. Talk to Elder Care Professionals in the area.  Senior Move Managers would be a good place to start.  An established Senior Move Manager (3 or more years in business) will have worked with most if not all of the Adult Living Facilities in the area and have good knowledge of their operations.  Geratric Case Managers are another excellent resource as well as Elder Law Attorneys.  You can return to your search engine and type another query like:  senior move manager medford, or, etc.  Contact the professionals that you locate and present them with the names of the facilities on your short list, and ask them which facility from the list that they would choose for a parent of their own.  Be prepared to ask them other questions that you may have.

This can be a stressful time.  Make full use of the resources available to you so that you have confidence in the choices that you are making.  The process outlined above will not only give you confidence in the facility that you choose, but you will also encounter other resources and professionals during the process that will prove to be invaluable in this time of transition for your parent(s).  Good luck and best wishes on this important journey!

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